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Win Tickets to Sudden Impact XII!

EMAIL YOUR QUESTION to The Hatchet and you will automatically be entered to win 2 Cageside tickets to Sudden Impact XII on Friday, April 9th! 

Click on the above link, or go to SportFightingNews@Yahoo.com. Just put Hatchet in the subject of your email and send us your question. 

Email must be received by by April 1, 2010. Winner will be notified via email on April 2, 2010.


Who is The Hatchet?

The early days of Mixed Martial Arts looked much different than today. Style vs. style. Size and weight didn’t matter. Fighting several times a night in tournaments. In the early 90’s, one fighter dominated nearly every Cagefighting discussion and all the fights in Japan. By winning the big tournaments at the Tokyo Dome 3 years in a row. Defeating the biggest and best names out there. This fighter came from nowhere and destroyed the competition. Bursting on the scene like a comet, becoming a legend overseas. Then just as fast as this MMA legend arrived, they were gone.

By the mid 90’s until last month, no one had heard or seen this undefeated Warrior again. There were stories and reported sightings but nothing confirmed. Thus, the myth grew. The line between truth and fiction blurred. Jan “The Hatchet” remained a mystery. After the 3rd time winning the Tokyo tournament, no one ever saw “The Hatchet” again. The Brazilians, Americans, Japanese and everyone else who had lost, publicly asked for rematches in the press. No answer was ever given. It was as if Jan “The Hatchet” never existed.

Fifteen years past and nothing. That is until the SFN decided to track down the legend. It took us 6 months but we did it. Although “The Hatchet” still won’t do an interview (due to an upcoming autobiography being released), this MMA legend has agreed to do an advice column for us. We are pleased, honored and a little scared to announce our newest column, “ASK THE HATCHET.” Enjoy and don’t forget to duck!

 

 

Ask "The Hatchet"

 

Dear Hatchet,

I love MMA and know that you’ve fought all over the world. Your battles in Japan against The worlds best are legendary. What advice can you give me to become a legend like you?

Tim S. Denver, CO

Dear Tim S.

Become a legend like me? Impossible.

“The Hatchet”


Dear Hatchet,

I keep injuring my quad muscle and had to pull out of two fights. Are they any training tips you can give me that might help?

Bob H., St. Louis, MO

Well, Bobby...

Quit the sport, you pussy. You’re not tough enough for MMA.

“The Hatchet”


Dear Hatchet,

I recently took my first fight out of town and while I was gone, my girl friend slept with my brother. She’s cheated on me four times before and I’ve always taken her back. I know I shouldn’t forgive her but I love her. What should I do?

In love in Philly

What should I do...what should I do...what should I dooooo.... First of all Silly Philly, stop whining! Then, 3 things: Shoot her... shoot him... shoot yourself you sackless sissy boy! Duh! It’s no surprise she found a REAL man. Switch teams! Maybe you’d have better luck with men, bitch.

“The Hatchet”


Dear Hatchet,

I’m an amateur botanist who’s been growing beautiful hydro plants in my basement for a couple of years now. I’ve developed quite a “customer base” who purchase my lovely plants for top dollar. My problem is, I just found Jesus and I’m getting out of the business. I don’t know what to do with this year’s harvest.

Tom, Chicago, IL

Tom, Tom, Tom, my new BFF!

Normally, I consider botany a pussy sport, HOWEVER, your letter may have changed my mind. I’m here to help. This year’s “harvest” is not a problem. Just leave it to me. I’ve sent you my private phone number (secure line), call me and I’ll send someone to take it off your hands. Don’t forget to include a list of your customers.

Your New BFF, Hatchie ;-)


Send your letters for “The Hatchet” to
sportfightingnews@yahoo.com